Simple Saturday - Day 9 & Still Going!

I'm just not good at getting going in the mornings, even though I want to, so by the time I was ready to exercise today, it was already almost 10 a.m. The village is usually busy by then, and I just didn't feel like dodging cars and trucks on a walk today, so I decided to slug it out on my stairs again. Knees and ankles protesting the whole time, I managed 17 straight minutes and trudged down and back up a total of 21 times. 

After a two minute break, I pushed (and I do mean pushed) myself to do another five minutes and seven more trips down and back, for a grand total of 22 minutes and 28 trips! Feet dragging, head pounding, and dripping sweat, I high-fived myself for pushing through the discomfort and doing that extra five minutes when I truly just wanted to quit. It may not seem like much to you, but it is for me. My current goal is to push through both my fatigue and my fear to do just a little bit more each day, even if it's only a little. My heart rate was definitely up, but my head didn't explode, one of my biggest fears!

I am giving you three scale shots today because I decided to do an experiment, and it was interesting. I wanted to prove to myself that the number on my scale is arbitrary, and as I've known all along, it can fluctuate wildly from day to day. All three pictures were taken within 30 seconds of each other. The first picture shows the first time I got on the scale and it shows I am a pound up from yesterday. I then hopped off, reset it, and jumped on again. The second pictures shows another two ounces. In 10 seconds? 

So, I tried again. When it showed another two ounces added, I knew I had proved my point, at least to myself. The scale is NOT my friend and is not 100% accurate. I was afraid to get on a fourth time no matter how many more seconds I might wait.  


So, now I know for sure the scale will not be the only measurement of success for me. Some of my success is going to have to lie in a change in the way my clothes fit, the way my body looks, and the increased endurance, stamina, and strength that I gain. As a "day to day" measuring stick, my scale is not any more accurate than the winter weather forecast in Iowa. 


But, tomorrow's another day, and it's not only another day, it's Sunday Funday! Bloody Mary, here I come! Time to enjoy!

Freaky Friday - Dawn Up At Dawn?? (Day 8)

For some reason, I woke up early (for me) about 6:15 am, so I decided to get moving early. After climbing stairs for 20 grueling minutes last night, my chubby, weak little knees were not happy with me, so I decided a simple walk was in order, and I grabbed the dog, and off we went.

We walked to the pier and back and it took us 42 minutes. The village was just starting to wake up. This is a side of Placencia I don't usually see, since I'm not much of an early morning person, and it was quite lovely. And, I bumped into a friend half-way, so we walked the rest of the way together. That was was a nice surprise and made it seem to go faster too-WIN!


Confession time: Late last evening, I stumbled across a "Grandama's" peanut butter cookie (my favorite). I had tucked it in the fridge a day before I started my "New Dawn" project. My hands snatched it and stuffed the whole thing in my mouth before my brain even registered the event. Then the guilt and self-recrimination set in. At least there was only one left in the package-I guess it could have been worse, right?

As a reward for getting my dreaded EOD (exercise of the day) out of the way early, I decided to head to the sea for a beach day. Sadly, none of my regular beach crew was out, so I spent quite a bit of time paddling around by myself in the beautiful turquoise water, challenging myself to see how long I could swim without putting my feet down. As a result, I probably got at least another 30-45 minutes of activity in today. BIG WIN!

It was a pretty boring food day, and I know I need to plan better when it comes to meals. I knew there were leftovers in the fridge for dear hubby's dinner, and I just wanted something easy for myself too, so didn't plan or prepare a "meal," which is something that probably hinders my progress as well. I need to stop being so uninspired and lazy about my food planning, but it's just not "fun" for me. I truly hate it. I still have all the veggies I bought yesterday and I need to figure out what I want to do with them all. Cook them, you say? Arrggh. Yes I know, but how? And serve them with what? I guess it's time to hit the web and search for recipes that sound good. And EASY. But damn I hate cooking and preparing meals. I would give anything for my own personal chef a couple days a week. Or some really easy recipes. Anyone? 

Oh, I almost forgot today's scale shot. Staying steady, I'll take that, because as we know, tomorrow's another day! See you then…...

Thankful Thursday: One Week In The Books - Day 7

I have had a few people ask me, why are you doing this "self-improvement" project so publicly? Meaning, why are you sharing the intimate details of your gain health, lose weight program, your exact weight and your activities each day? Are you insane? Or, maybe meaning "Who gives a rat's ass?" 

I'm doing this publicly for two reasons. First, to keep myself accountable. The thought that even one person might be reading, keeping tabs on if I can really keep up my commitment to improving my health, is a great motivator for me. I didn't want to exercise today, but I did, because I knew I would have to report it here either way. And God forbid I would disappoint that one, lone follower I might have! I don't know why, but that pushes me to get off my ass. Yes, I could lie, but that's just not my style.

Second, I've been thinking a lot these last few months about facing some of the demons I have swirling around in my head. One issue I haven't faced is the fact I've been using my brain surgery four years ago as an excuse to remain physically inactive. I have allowed myself to become a couch potato and indulge in any food I wanted, simply because I survived. That was ok while I was still in recovery, but recovery ended a LONG time ago. 

Today's Haul From The Veggie Stands & Top Value

I've spent far too long being scared to get my heart rate up for fear my blood vessel might blow out again. (My doctors have reassured me it won't.) But even though raising my heart rate and blood pressure makes my head hurt, I'm determined to push through it. I'm sure getting healthy again physically will improve that problem as well. 

And finally, because I have to come to terms with the fact that the number on the scale or the size of my clothes does not matter, or make me more (or less) valuable as a person. But taking the time to value myself does matter. 

I picked up quite a few veggies at the stands today, and made myself braised brussel sprouts for dinner. YUM! It was dark by the time I was ready to exercise, and I won't walk the village after dark by myself, so I did stairs.        My OWN stairs! 
I set my timer for 30 minutes. After 12 minutes, I had to take a two minute break. Then, I managed another 8 minutes. I didn't make 30 minutes today, but I did more than I normally would! And, of course, tomorrow's another day…….

Wednesday's Child - Leveling Off on My 6th Day

I spent a good portion of Wednesday catching up on my posts for this project so that it will only be a day behind. That way, you'll be the first to know how each of my "yesterdays" went. 

Finally, about 4:30 p.m. I grabbed the leash and took the dog for a walk. Late afternoon is not the best time to be walking the road in the village but we had to "Git 'er Dun!" And so we did. Here's a 60 second video of part of our walk.

This morning's scale shot (below) proves that weighing yourself everyday can be counterproductive if you are going for a number. But I'm not going to let the scale be my only measuring stick, or let the numbers bother me much. And I won't be weighing myself every single day forever. But here's today's number for the record: 

The numbers on the scale are only going to be one of many small ways to measure whether I am making progress. I know those numbers can jump around for many reasons. And I hope to eventually focus more on the big picture of ALL things I am doing to improve my health. 

So what are those things, you ask? Well, I am planning on doing some physical activity for 30 minutes a day (or more), six days a week. I've been invited to join in several different exercise programs, but I'm just not sure they're right for me YET. And I know some of them will probably never be right for me, but like I always say, "I'll try anything ONCE." Naturally, I will be giving myself Sunday Funday as an "exercise-free" day, unless I can count repeatedly lifting my drink glass as exercise! Sundays will also be a less restrictive, but probably not a "binge day," when it comes to food choices. 

I'm also looking to improve my food choices. It's going to be hard because I'm such a picky eater and I can't eat first thing in the mornings. And I don't really like leftovers, frozen & reheated meals, or food that's not "fresh." To make things worse, I don't know how to prepare many of the foods that ARE available here. Or if I would like them. Catch-22 anyone? But I am learning. Slowly.

Today I ate a some peanuts and plain raisins for my "brunch." Then, I forgot to eat again until I started to feel weak on my walk and realized I hadn't eaten anything else all day. A hot bowl of homemade "stew beans" and rice was my dinner. 

We're almost out of "healthy" choices for food in the house so tomorrow I will be hitting the veggie stands and grocery store. I'll be in search of something good to eat that doesn't require a lot of cooking. It's already getting too hot to cook very much, and it's not even April yet! 

Life in Belize, it's rough. Ah well, tomorrow is another day……

Tuesday. Or Duesday. Same Thing.

Tuesday normally seems to be the day that I pay the piper for my weekend frivolities. For me, it's always been the day that the "bad" things I've ate or drank over the weekend catch up with me. Since I was sick and missed Sunday Funday, there's nothing to catch up to me. But here's the gratuitous scale shot of the day, just to keep me in line. Neither forwards nor backwards. I'll take it.

Got up early, fed the littles, and set out walking with the big dog by 8 a.m. Went a little further, and she's getting getting more confident with every walk. I'm lucky she's so smart. We got charged by two huge, angry mastiffs and she let me stand our ground and protect her without running for the hills in a complete panic. Baby steps for her too I guess.

I'm not a breakfast person, but I had some raisins and peanuts mid-morning. I like simple stuff like that. Late lunch was some diced tomatoes with cheddar cheese heated up in the microwave. Easy-peasy. For dinner, I made Chinese Shrimp - the recipe for which you will soon be able find in my future "anti-cookbook." It's really more of a recipe guide to not starving in Belize if you don't know how to cook. Like me. 

My feet feel funny after walking in real running shoes after months of nothing but flip flops. They don't quite know how to act. I find that kind of amusing.  Maybe tomorrow I'll try a different exercise and get out my yoga dvd. I know one thing, if I don't shake it up, I won't stick with it. I figure as long as I do something to get my heart rate up every day, I'm golden. At least in my mind. 


How do you keep your exercise plan from becoming too routine? Or does routine work better for you? Just wondering…….. because I've got to find a way to deal with this unhealthy, apple-shaped body. I'm tired of hiding it everyday under my ugly, shapeless, baggy clothes. Clothes are hot, and I don't mean "sexy" hot. I mean hot in the "it's already 90+ degrees everyday, let's take off our clothes" hot. 

Sexy, now that's something I'd like to attain again someday. 

Well, tomorrow's another day, and I plan to keep adding to my toolbox of fitness tips and tricks and gaining momentum! 

What keeps you going after your "Dues-Day?"

Monday, Monday…So Good To Me

Finally feeling quite a bit better. Want to get the scale shot out of the way first thing. I expected the bounce back upwards since I did finally eat a little yesterday. I had some toast and tomato soup, so this small rebound makes sense. 

Had a pre-planned lunch date with an online friend today. It was great to finally meet her in person! I still didn't have much of an appetite, although I did manage to eat a few bites of ceviche and a little bit of bean dip. Good stuff.

After lunch we walked down the sidewalk to Tutti Fruitti for a gelato. I figured the "exercise" of the walk negated the "bad" of the gelato. I was a sweaty mess by the end of our walk thanks to not being 100%, and I'm sure my new friend thought I was disgusting pig who was badly out of shape. Truth is, I AM out of shape. Doesn't matter, at least I moved more today. 

Spent the evening doing some research on how I want to proceed with my "lose weight, gain health" plans. I know I need to move more, eat less, and cook better. Don't know yet if I want to follow a specific eating or exercise "plan."  I've tried plenty before. Unsuccessfully. Obviously.

Weeks before I started this project, I managed to eliminate most breads and flours from my diet. I also drastically reduced added sugar in my diet too. Neither has made much of a difference. Yet. But I wasn't moving at all either. 

One thing I do know, I have never had success on plans that you have to cut out entire food groups or restrict your diet to the point that you can't eat anything "socially." Or plans that require me to kill myself with exercise every single day. And I'm never giving up alcohol completely. I love my Watermelon Bliss at the Barefoot Beach Bar waaaaayyyy too much for that.


I'm in this for the long haul this time. I don't want a "quick fix" - I want something that I can live with, and is sustainable, long-term. What works for you?

For me, it's baby steps. Baby steps, people. They're still steps, and as long as they're forward instead of backward, all is good.  

Sunday, Bloody, Sunday. A Not-So Funday

Still feeling pretty punky. I have slept so much in the last two days that I don't know how, or if I'll ever fall asleep again. 

But boy those two pieces of plain toast sure did taste good after 48 hours with basically no food.

Wait, what was I saying? Sorry, I just woke up. Again. Let me get my "chemo" hat straightened up here.

So where was I….. Oh yes. I'm doing this new thing, trying to get get healthy. It's not working out so well so far. Damn stomach bug. I am losing weight, even if it's the hard way, and even if I know it won't stay gone this way.  

I am sad I am missing Sunday Funday - my favorite day of the week.  No playing for me today. Ugh.

But, I'm upright for longer periods of time. Woo Hoo! Managed to scrape some of the old, dirty nail polish off my toes between naps. Never got finished but it can wait. Not like I'm going anywhere today anyway. At least the dog has been patient about waiting for her next walk. 

Boo for stomach bugs. Yay for rapid weight loss. Boo for the fact that I know it won't last if I ever get my appetite back again. 

Rejoice in the gratuitous scale shot of the day with me for just a little bit though, anyway? 


Tomorrow is another day after all……….

Sick On the Second Day. Already?! Is It The Devil's Work?

I had big plans for walking every day and posting more details every day about my new "lose weight, gain health" project. A few pics left over  from my morning walk Friday, Day #1. Splendid! Friday evening, well…. not so much. 

Today's not so great either. I've been sicker than a dog since suppertime on Friday. Some people would say becoming sick was the devil's villainously evil way of discouraging me from going forward with my plans to get healthy.


Since I don't believe in the devil, I'll just go with the explanation that it was a plain old stomach bug. It's been going around the village, and dear hubby had a touch last weekend. Ah, well. At least you can enjoy more pictures from my Friday walk while you're here!

It looked just like this today too. I missed it completely because all I could do was lay on the couch. Ugh.

The dog was disappointed to miss her walk. At least our "son" is home and can entertain her for a while this weekend.

Finally, we can't forget the scale shot. I managed to climb on it between naps. It sits right next to the toilet, so it's not like I had far to go. 

  Obviously, I've lost weight. I spent last night vomiting like Linda Blair in the Exorcist for 6 or 8 hours. I've had nothing to eat since lunch on Friday. Nice way to lose weight and gain health…..Not.

As Scarlett O'Hara would say in Gone With The Wind, "tomorrow's another day…."

   

In Search of A New Dawn. The Brutal & Honest First Day of 30

This is how much I weigh on "Start Day" - Friday, March 21st, 2014
I should mention that I'm only 5' 3" on a "good" day. 

I never used to be a Big Girl. But now I am. I have lots of excuses. None of them matter anymore. 

Sharing my actual weight on a public blog is completely insane, I know. Not even dear hubby knows for sure how much I weigh--until today. But I promised myself I would be brutally honest with my readers. And there's a method to my madness which I'll explain in future posts.

Checking for "creepy crawlers" before I set out
for my first walk in months.

This is not about shaming myself. What it IS about is being brutally honest with myself, facing my fears, letting go of some of my relationships with food and exercise, and starting to get healthy.

Even a thousand-mile journey
begins with a single step.

Because I'm NOT healthy, and I’m finally committed to getting off my fat ass and doing something REAL about it for at least the next 30 days. You don't have to DO what I’m going to be doing, which will be completely insane and probably, OVER-sharing. 

Of course, I do welcome all respectful, positive, and constructive comments, participation, feedback, and advice. You can also feel free to just read along and laugh behind my back. C'mon, you know I can take it, because I’m a BIG girl, right? But that's about to change…….

Go ahead, laugh, I can take it.
Because I'm a Big Girl.

   Today I went for a walk for the first time in many months. I didn't get up early enough and it was already hot. But at least the dog enjoyed it. 

They were the first steps in a thousand mile journey to finding my former, healthy self.

This daily project is going to be a short, more visual, less wordy journal about my personal quest to becoming healthier and happier in a brutally open, honest, and very public way. 

I hope you'll join me and support me while I'm on this journey, at least for the next 30 days. 

More explanations in upcoming posts. Thanks for reading!