The Wills & The Won'ts - My Wacky Food Phobias

Forgive me for my absence. A case of strep throat, and my tummy's bad reaction to the medication, had me sidelined me for a few days. But I'm on the mend, and finishing up this post after starting it last Thursday. As I mentioned in my last entry, I'm getting serious about making some real progress with my "lose weight, gain health" project. 

With that goal in mind, I've been tweaking my food choices, cutting out processed foods, drinking nearly three liters of water most days, and trying to do cardio and/or strength training every day. But the hardest part for me is eating better and dealing with "my wills & my wont's." What are my "wills & my wont's"? Well, they're the things I will and won't eat. You see, I have a few food phobias which makes eating healthy challenging for me. 

Ok, I admit it, I don't just have "a few," I have a LOT of wacky food issues. I am an extremely picky eater, have been all my life. 

My parents' favorite story about me as a toddler was about trying to get me to eat mashed potatoes. They'd cram a spoonful in my mouth, and then close my mouth so I couldn't spit them out. But I repeatedly refused to swallow them. They even tried slipping me something to drink, thinking it would all wash down together. To their surprise, I would swallow the liquid, only to stick out my tongue and still have the potatoes sitting there.   

As I got older, my parents realized trying to get me to eat what I didn't like was futile. But like many families, if I didn't eat what was served I didn't get anything else either. As a result, I often went hungry, but I didn't care. I learned to go without food with no problem. I simply wasn't going to eat what I didn't like, even if that meant not eating anything at all. And it's an ingrained habit I still struggle with to this day. 

So let me give you a few examples of my "wills and won'ts" so you can understand my challenge. I have an issue with freshness, or a lack thereof, especially with fruits and veggies. I won't eat anything that's too ripe, blemished, overly bruised, questionably "old," or limp. Anything not at the peak of perfection, or not fresh and crisp, or even slightly wilted is simply out of the question. I may want it, and I may even buy it. But I can guarantee you if it's even the least bit questionable, it will rot in on the counter or in the crisper drawer before I'll ever eat it.

But it gets worse. I also won't eat leftovers, and I don't like food that has been prepared ahead, refrigerated or frozen, and then reheated. Unless it's meatloaf, chili, or McDonalds! But I won't eat cold foods that have gotten warm. Or hot foods that have gotten cold. 

I'm a complete freak, I know. But wait, there's more……..

I also have issues with textures. I don't like foods that are mushy or squishy or slimy or stinky. I'll pass on most puddings, yogurts, custards, or cream fillings. I also won't eat bananas unless they are just barely ripe. And I can live without mango, papaya, kiwi, etc. Furthermore, I can't even begin to get excited about fruit or veggie smoothies like everyone else. To be honest, I find smoothies unappealing and the idea of "drinking your food" a little disturbing. And don't even get me going about seaweed shakes. Seriously, who eats (or drinks) weeds that grow on the ocean floor?

All of the above? Definitely "won'ts." But that's not all…….

I'm also extremely fussy about meat. Any meat (other than ground beef) has to be as "clean and stripped" as possible. I won't eat any meat that has a bone in it, like chicken wings, ribs, or pork chops. And fish? Well, fish is just slimy, stinky mush that makes me sick to my stomach. I also get especially nauseous at the taste of any fat, sinew, tendon, gristle, the smallest bone, or (god forbid!) skin or scales. Which is why I never order meat or fish in a restaurant. Ever. I learned the hard way.

Ironically, I'm not a vegetarian, and I will eat some meat at home, such as lean beef tenderloin, or pork, turkey, and chicken as long as it is lean, boneless, and skinless. And I do love corn-fed, farm-raised, (steroid-filled!) Iowa ground beef. It's divine when grilled about as rare as can be with some cheese and dill pickles. 

Heck, I even used to eat raw hamburger with just a little salt, although I wouldn't do that here in Belize.

Strangely enough, I love and will eat seafood, like shrimp and lobster, as long as done well and it's completely deveined and "de-shelled." And I will eat conch if it's chopped up small and mixed in other things, (like ceviche or fritters). And I will even eat some kinds of sushi! But when I do eat meat or seafood, if it's not prepared absolutely near-perfect, I'm done. Sadly, I've gradually found myself becoming an unintentional, "almost" vegetarian the last few years. 

So what does that leave me to eat, or what am I eating if I'm not eating processed junk? Well, mostly more veggies, such as broccoli, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, tomatoes, avocados, onions, cucumbers, and lots of lettuce salads. For my fats, I've been using real butter, olive and coconut oil, tossing in the black olives wherever I can, and adding a little ranch dressing or real mayo occasionally.

I've also added a crap-ton of fruit lately, something I used to limit for fear of the carbs and sugars. I especially like watermelon, pineapple, cantaloupe, strawberries, green apples, and green grapes. I've been doing some reading, and I've decided I need to let go of the idea that natural carbs and sugars are "bad." So, if it's a whole or "natural" sugar or carb and my body wants it, I'm going to have it (within reason). 

I also tend to lack in the protein department since I won't eat much meat, so I've been eating a lot of hard boiled egg whites. (Yolks are a definite "won't" so the dogs get those!) I've also been eating nuts, cheddar & mozzarella cheese, beans I cook myself,  bacon with tomato in "lettuce wraps," and I've been making boneless, skinless chicken breasts in different ways. 

So what's changed is that, basically if it's pre-packaged or has to have a bona-fide "government" nutrition label on it, I'm not eating it. I'm mostly just eating better food, listening to what my body wants, and only eating whole and NATURAL foods. 

And here's the REAL deal, my friends. As of today, even though I haven't felt well enough to exercise much, I've lost FOUR pounds! Amazing.  

But I gotta be honest. Given the chance, I'd still eat a Big Mac and an extra large fries, or a foot-long BMT at Subway in a heartbeat. Or some rare and juicy, steroid-laden, antibiotic-filled (but tastes-oh-so good!) Iowa ground beef on a big poppy-seed bun, slathered in dill pickles, cheese, ketchup and mustard. It's what my body still craves, even two years removed. It's a good thing we don't have any of that here in Placencia, because I love that shit. But not eating crap, and cutting out anything that isn't whole or natural, is what is finally allowing me some progress. 

So even though I say it grudgingly, thank you, Belize, for not having fast food. 

And there it is, just a small sample of my "wills and wont's." I know, I know, I'm a complete wacko when it comes to food. It's just the way I roll. 

Surely I can't be the only one whose food phobias make it hard to eat "clean" and healthy. Or am I? 

And if you think this was weirdly fun, just wait until the next post, which is going to be even better! I'm going to share my list of my Do's and my Don'ts! See you soon!