Giving up. It's all I wanted to do on Tuesday. Or cry. Or scream at the top of my lungs, shake my fists, stomp my feet, and rail at the sky. My rant went a little like this: "Why, oh why, does my body continue to stubbornly hang on to every single ounce in spite of my best efforts? Why can't it just let go? Why do I have to exercise so much when I hate it so damn much? Why does it have to be so damn hot? And why can't I crave or enjoy foods that are healthy instead of the "bad" foods which are the only things I like?!!!" 
And this is the point where I normally WOULD give up. But this time, something is different. And I'm NOT GIVING UP this time.
Oh, I still hate it, I'm never going to be one of those people who fall in love with exercising. And I'm still going to crave the fattening and processed foods over fruits and veggies, and probably will for the rest of my life. But the thing that is different is YOU are here. And even if you only ever give me one piece of advice, or one encouraging word, or just read along without saying a word, you're THERE, and THAT'S what's keeping me going. For some reason, it makes all the difference in the world to me.
It was so hot on Tuesday, I could barely breathe. Not a whiff of a breeze. The sweat ran down my face in rivers. There was no way I could get any exercise done in the morning but thinking maybe it would cool off later, I promised myself I would do my stairs after dark. I had a lunch meeting, but I made good food choices and drank three huge glasses of water, and a glass of tea, in addition to my full liter of water at home! My meeting ran late, but I finished in time to make a veggie stand run. Special thanks my friend who told me all the fresh, good stuff arrives on Tuesdays and Fridays.
I got all this luscious produce for less than $40 BZ (that's $20 US) including the $14 for two pounds of my favorite, expensive treat, seedless green grapes! I got 9 carrots, 3 small broccoli heads, 6 large tomatoes, 3 onions, a giant head of leaf lettuce, & 7 big bananas. Not a bad haul, and the grapes, while expensive, are something--finally-- thankfully, that I WILL EAT !! Sometimes, I still have to reconcile myself to the fact that I'm worth the extra money, especially if it's something good for me AND I like it. I haven't always done that, and it's something that's going to take practice.
My darling, dearest hubby, bless his heart, still wasn't feeling well, but saw me sweating my ass off washing, cutting, and prepping up my haul from the veggie stands, and humbly offered to heat up his own leftovers so I didn't have to cook dinner. (God, I love that man more than life itself some days!) I made myself a mashed cauliflower dish with basil, oregano, garlic, and cheese, similar to a recipe I'd seen on Pinterest. It was beyond awful, and will definitely be another recipe for the "miserable failures" section of my future "anti-cookbook" project. I settled on a couple pieces of cheese, some grapes, and two pieces of bacon for my supper.
Blessedly, thankfully, about 8:30 p.m. the rain and cold front we had been promised all day finally arrived and it started to cool off. I couldn't do my stairs in the pouring rain, but I got out another P90X DVD, a "chest, back and arms with weights" focus, and did 52 minutes in front of the tv. Not exactly what I planned, and not as much cardio as I wanted, but it's still exercise, and I'll put it in the win column.
Of course, tomorrow is another day. Most likely it will still be cool in the morning and I can get some cardio done then. And then, maybe, I can eat GRAPES all day if I want to! See you then!
Oh, I still hate it, I'm never going to be one of those people who fall in love with exercising. And I'm still going to crave the fattening and processed foods over fruits and veggies, and probably will for the rest of my life. But the thing that is different is YOU are here. And even if you only ever give me one piece of advice, or one encouraging word, or just read along without saying a word, you're THERE, and THAT'S what's keeping me going. For some reason, it makes all the difference in the world to me.
It was so hot on Tuesday, I could barely breathe. Not a whiff of a breeze. The sweat ran down my face in rivers. There was no way I could get any exercise done in the morning but thinking maybe it would cool off later, I promised myself I would do my stairs after dark. I had a lunch meeting, but I made good food choices and drank three huge glasses of water, and a glass of tea, in addition to my full liter of water at home! My meeting ran late, but I finished in time to make a veggie stand run. Special thanks my friend who told me all the fresh, good stuff arrives on Tuesdays and Fridays. I got all this luscious produce for less than $40 BZ (that's $20 US) including the $14 for two pounds of my favorite, expensive treat, seedless green grapes! I got 9 carrots, 3 small broccoli heads, 6 large tomatoes, 3 onions, a giant head of leaf lettuce, & 7 big bananas. Not a bad haul, and the grapes, while expensive, are something--finally-- thankfully, that I WILL EAT !! Sometimes, I still have to reconcile myself to the fact that I'm worth the extra money, especially if it's something good for me AND I like it. I haven't always done that, and it's something that's going to take practice.My darling, dearest hubby, bless his heart, still wasn't feeling well, but saw me sweating my ass off washing, cutting, and prepping up my haul from the veggie stands, and humbly offered to heat up his own leftovers so I didn't have to cook dinner. (God, I love that man more than life itself some days!) I made myself a mashed cauliflower dish with basil, oregano, garlic, and cheese, similar to a recipe I'd seen on Pinterest. It was beyond awful, and will definitely be another recipe for the "miserable failures" section of my future "anti-cookbook" project. I settled on a couple pieces of cheese, some grapes, and two pieces of bacon for my supper.
Blessedly, thankfully, about 8:30 p.m. the rain and cold front we had been promised all day finally arrived and it started to cool off. I couldn't do my stairs in the pouring rain, but I got out another P90X DVD, a "chest, back and arms with weights" focus, and did 52 minutes in front of the tv. Not exactly what I planned, and not as much cardio as I wanted, but it's still exercise, and I'll put it in the win column.
Of course, tomorrow is another day. Most likely it will still be cool in the morning and I can get some cardio done then. And then, maybe, I can eat GRAPES all day if I want to! See you then!
I love your comment, getting up at the "crack of me." Dawn, do you ever freeze your grapes? They are better than popsicles!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's been a running joke in my family since I was young, a joke I am soooo tired of. But how ironic is it that I'm named Dawn and hate mornings! And yes, so many people told me about freezing grapes that I will be trying it very soon!
DeleteYeah, this heat has been unbearable. I've been doing the happy dance all day today, not having sweat dripping from every crevice in my body. Man, I just wish I could convert you to a.m. exercise. I'm done by 7:30 a.m. most mornings, and even after I get out of the shower, I'm dripping wet again, but I can't imagine waiting any later than that. I admire you for working out so late - I guess you have to honor your body clock :)
ReplyDeleteGlad you found the fresh veggies and fruit. Did you peel your carrots for that photo haha!! Good job hun!
I wish I could be a morning person too. I've tried, I really have. But it just makes me a cranky b*tch the rest of the day. And I did not peel the carrots - they were just that good! :) I have sort of made friends with the guy at one of the stands and he is getting to know what I like and don't like, so when I come, he digs out the "special" stuff for me that he has hiding in boxes and coolers and under the counter! It's really kinda awesome!
DeletePreach it sister! I've always maintained 4:30 AM is a perfectly wonderful time to fall into bed and a perfectly awful time to try to crawl out of one. Why oh why can't mornings start at 1:30 PM? I'm coming to a grudging acceptance of my torture - I mean workout of choice, but only because I'm vain as all get out and I decided I really like having collar bones.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work. It may never get easier but I hope you find some result you like that helps you get through the unpleasant times.
thanks Carryl - like the old song goes, I think night time is the RIGHT time - it's just how my body clock is set! But I try to compromise by getting up between 7-8. For 20+ years I had always a job or owned a business that I had to be up for between 5-6, so now that I "work for myself" I am enjoying not HAVING to get up until my body says it's time!
Delete