Power Outages & Discouragement - Tuesday & Wednesday (Days 26 & 27)

I was unable to post my Tuesday report yesterday morning thanks to a "planned" power outage, something that is common in Placencia, especially anytime a holiday is near. Although we knew this one was coming, and it was relatively short (only three hours), any outage still manages to screw up our internet service for the entire day. 

By the time the internet finally came back up, and we got the router reset and rebooted in the evening, I had no energy left to write. So, as I have learned to do here in Belize, I rolled with the punches, and decided to combine both Tuesday's and Wednesday's report together. 
Tuesday found me hitting the stairs again because it was simply too hot to drag myself and the dog through the village in the early morning heat. I was determined to do a little more than the day before, so I decided to see how long I could go without a single break. After 35 minutes without a single break, and 39 trips, I was really fatigued and I figured I better sit down before I fell down. And then I was simply done, I couldn't do any more. 
As I had done on Monday, I tried to force myself to not touch the handrail for "safety" at all. It was challenging, and I found myself reaching for the railing out of habit on more than one occasion. I find it interesting, though, how such a small thing increases the level of difficulty for me, and my body is definitely feeling it in different places.

Tuesday was also veggie stand day, and I picked up some great fruit, including a juicy cantaloupe, some gorgeous strawberries, a huge watermelon, more delicious green grapes, as well as some tomatoes, lettuce, potatoes, and zucchini. I used to not buy much fruit here (except for bananas and oranges), because I think it is more expensive, and I hate the time it takes to cut it up and prep it. But as I mentioned before, I have to remind myself that my better self, and my health, are worth it! And I promised myself the three avocados I splurged on at $3.50(bz) each are gonna taste fantastic! 

Wednesday was a little cooler in the morning, but I couldn't stand the thought of trudging up and down the stairs again, so Foxxi and I went for a walk. We kept a pretty good pace and made it to the pier in just under 15 minutes, took a very short "slow-walk" break, and then headed back to the house in 23 minutes, for a total of 38 minutes. I like that I have the option of choosing a different exercise each day, and a walk through the village I love was a really nice change from the stairs I am starting to loathe. And the smiles, waves, and friendly greetings, along with the gorgeous scenery, are always a welcome reminder of why we chose to live in Placencia!
Then it was time to hit the "grocery store," where I picked up a ton of chicken breasts, some ground beef, cheese, bacon, and a heap of stuff for the boys to eat. It's definitely been an interesting few days with "E" home from college, and the hubby and him needing to eat much more quantity, and much differently, from what I am eating. But they've been pretty understanding so far when I tell them certain things are off limits to them and "just for me." If I didn't, the fridge would be empty and all the "good stuff" would be gone in a split second. Wow, those guys can eat anything and everything!

I'm not sure if anyone has noticed, but something I have been wanting to address is the lack of my "daily scale shot" in my last few posts. Many people encouraged me to abandon the scale because it was causing me too much disappointment, and I have finally decided to take their advice, at least in part. I will still be checking in on my scale to keep myself accountable, and posting the results (once a week or so), but the daily ups and downs were just too discouraging on a daily basis. 
But even with only weekly checkins on the scale, I'm starting to worry that the results will still be disappointing. I am at the point where I'm starting to get more frustrated and less enthusiastic. I have been working so hard, have been so diligent with my exercise, and have significantly improved what I eat, and yet am seeing no change in my shape, the way my clothes fit, little change in the way I feel, and almost no movement of the number on the scale. 

We are nearing the 30-day mark, and I am not seeing or feeling much improvement. I don't want to give up, and I won't (at least not yet), but it gets harder and harder to force myself to eat well and exercise when the monster in my head is saying "Why bother? It's not making any difference anyway. What are you killing yourself for?"   

And then I silently shout back at him, "It will take time!" 

It's going to take more than 30 days. I KNOW that.  

But I HATE that fact. I want something to start happening NOW. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month. NOW. And when it doesn't, especially after almost a month of hard work, I start to lose motivation. And then I start listening to that little devil inside my head who says, "Just quit. You hate it and it's not doing you any good. It's too hot, too late, you're too tired, too (whatever excuse) to exercise. Just treat yourself to the things you love, even if they are bad for you, and DON'T do the things you hate. Enjoy yourself, because you only live once, and tomorrow you could be dead." 

That little monster can be convincing. Pretty. Damn. Convincing.

So, tell me, how do you stay motivated to do something you HATE (for me, that's eating well and exercise), even if you aren't seeing any results? How do you keep going when you would rather just sleep in, throw your tennis shoes away, sit in a chair by the beach, drink watermelon bliss, smoke cigarettes, and eat cheesecake all day? What makes YOU keep going when you are getting discouraged?